My mind has become hollowed as a result of the media and its fascination with Black women these days. Whether perpetuating the negative stereotypes of Black women via horrific “Reality” TV shows (i.e. Basketball Wives), allowing self-sexualized “artists” air whorish music videos for kids to vote in as their favorite on the Top 10 (Ciara “Ride” + BET) or the Single, Successful and Lonely ideology (ABC news special). It seems like no matter what channel I turn to, magazine I flip through or blog I read, I’m unable to escape what the negativity that the media likes to portray as the supposed “culture” of Black women.

Cul-ture: noun – the behaviors and beliefs characteristic of a particular social, ethnic, or age group

Taking into consideration the above examples of the portrayal of Black women, it can be assumed that we are defined as ghetto, gold-diggers, self-absorbed, over-sexed, baby-mamas and successfully single—oh, and most of whom will probably never get married. Thanks to the media this is seemingly my reality and there’s no hope for otherwise.

While we all know the difference between right and wrong, good and bad, there are young (some older) minds that are being exposed to this nonsense on a continuous basis and are accepting it as their truth.

Can you imagine being a teenage girl and being taught how to ride a d*** from a music video step by step? And we wonder why young Black girls are more susceptible of contracting STDs and HIV/AIDS than any other ethnic group. Or what about the 20-something women that strive for professional excellence only to be told that because they’ve acquired such success, they’re more likely to be struck by lightning than to get married? And we wonder why so many Black women are lowering their standards just so they can experience “love.”

I personally believe that the image of Black women is suffering all for fame—2 minutes of fame at that, and all for something that will leave behind no monetary value but rather a debt to society. Some may call it mere entertainment, others exploitation; however it’s viewed, perception is not always reality and everything that glitters ain’t gold.

I’d be remiss not to speak on this growing issue. So, these are the problems. Where are the solutions?

-Ms. Visionary

While it’s been just over one week since the summit, I find myself unable to shake the high I received (not to say that I mind it at ALL!). There was a level of excellence that emanated throughout the summit; from the workshops to guest speakers, presentation to customer service. What can I say? Black Enterprise did their thing!

I remember pulling up to the resort and seeing a sea of fabulous black women and becoming excited to be a part of the group. Who would have thought that I would be amongst some of the most successful corporate executives, entrepreneurs and business women. And guess what? They all looked like me! Yes…they all looked like me as in they were all black and female.

So, what does that have to do with anything? Everything. As a young professional, I find myself at a very pivotal moment in my life; specifically as it pertains to my career. The Black Enterprise: Women of Power Summit laid out what I like to call a “buffet” of opportunities right before my very eyes. There was so much wisdom, knowledge and insight that my plate was full by the end of the first day. So, I’ll admit to indulging in the gluttony of possibility. I ate up for 3 days! However, I’m still working on the whole digestion process.

According to Black Enterprise, there are 5 Paths to Power. During my 3 day “study” here’s what I gathered from those suggested paths:

1) ENVISION
“It’s not about confidence, but knowing what’s possible.” -Vicky Free ,Marketing VP of Turner Broadcasting

We were urged to ask ourselves the question, “What does winning look like?” in the Psychology of the Win workshop and later that afternoon created vision boards with motivational speaker and life coach, Lisa Nichols.

2) PREPARE
“Failure to prepare is preparing to fail.” -John Wooden)
It’s a must to be ready when opportunity shows up.

3) CONNECT
Find people in your life that have no agenda BUT to see you succeed; hence, a mentor(s). **something I’m in dire need of**

4) PERSIST
“Create moments in your life that create challenge, like a marathon. And if you make a mistake, recognize them as opportunities to learn.” - Margaret J. Henningsen, VP/Founder, Legacy Bank

5) COMMIT
Understanding your purpose is a mater of focus, clarity of your vision and your attitude. If you want something bad enough you’ll do whatever it takes to get there.

IKWIK –> I Know What I Know - Ms Audrey Smaltz, CEO and Founder of The Ground Crew (and THEE most FABULOUS 73 y/o I’ve EVER seen!)

Lastly, I want to give an immense shout out to those that made this experience possible: Buick, Black Enterprise and their partnership with the National Urban League Young Professionals (LAULYP):

Thank you ladies for your wonderful hospitality!

In closing, I’d just like to say that I AM a Woman of Power! I’ll see you at the top!

Here are a few more pics for your viewing pleasure…

(me and the President & CEO, Black Enterprise, Mr. Earl G. Graves Jr.)

(my right hand woman at conference, Betty Wright and Thee B. Smith)

(San Diego YP, Dree’ and LA Urban League Young Professionals)

(The harpist at the outdoors luncheon hosted by Herba Life)

(Ms. Betty, Geronimo (makeup artist) and you guessed it…ME!)

(Can I get a, Amen? Yes, me and the lovely Ms. Anna Maria Horsford)

With gratitude,

Faith S. Nunley (A.K.A. Ms. Visionary)

Life–
It just always has a way of challenging me
Always requiring something
All these rules
All these masks and shades of lipstick
I feel saturated by commentary
Expectations and final destination
Questions floating around like germs
Contagious like virus’
When, what, where how and who
See, it’s even a rule for that too!

Can I,
Please,

Just have a moment of silence?

My mind danced a dangerous tango with verbs, nouns and adjectives

With that of the opposite sex

As it had been bound by chastity

And extended periods of time left it under lock and key

Lost in translation—willingly

Nonetheless, at mere introduction

My psyche experienced a stoked combustion

As if indication for the loss of an exact emotion

You see—

None of this was foreseen

So I was unable to prepare mentally for his company

And as he picked my mind with aggression

I retorted with sass and assertive idiom

Our minds made a highway and interstate connection

Raised brows acknowledged curiosity’s presence

As my hunger and desire pondered his existence

And the willingness to be open to possibility made an emergence

Child-like laughter bellowed from my soul’s depth

As his humor showed its wealth

Like Vitamin-C, he became good for my health

As we laughed and as we danced…

Our tongues collided with spoken intellect

Let me pause for just a moment so that I can reflect

This is not to be confused with the concept of love at first sight

But rather the subliminal battle I’ve had in my mind—

A good mental f**k (ahem) is hard to find.

Yes, even if only for one night…

Today I experienced something very unparalleled to my life as of recently-peace. I found it necessary to share with everyone and hope that you can benefit in some sort.

Unlike most days, I was able to sleep in this morning, until 11:00 a.m. to be exact. Given my usual 60+ hour work weeks it was definitely much needed. However, instead of basking in the beauty of it all I immediately felt the need to do something; specifically, be “productive.” I began assembling a “To Do List” and gathering materials to do work, check email, etc.

As I walked into the kitchen to prepare a cup of English Breakfast Tea and my mother inquired about my agenda for the day. I began rambling off the items on my list and then hastily stated, “I have so much to do! I don’t have time to sit and talk, Mom.”

I leave with my cup of tea in hand but instead of returning to my home office, I pick up my pen and pad and retreat into the den. I don’t turn on the television (it’s rare that I watch it anyhow), and begin to write a poem for the first time in months. Afterward I felt accomplished as it was of true quality and something I had dreadfully been missing. Being creative has been something I have set aside because I’ve been so “busy”.

I return to the living room where my mother is sitting on the couch watching television. She initially ignores me which prompts me to begin talking to her. I confide in her about how I’ve been feeling confused, unfulfilled and how I want so much more out of life and don’t know how to get it. She listens attentively and then says,

“You don’t even realize the reason God has you where you are. You say you pray and ask for His guidance, but are never still or quiet enough to hear from Him. You just wanna go, go, go…or do, do, do. What you must realize is that God is preparing you for greater things, but you must seek His face. Ask HIM what it is you are meant to learn from each of your experiences. Ask HIM what HIS will is for your life. And then…be silent. Sit still. It is then when you can hear from Him and the answers to your prayers will be revealed.”

It wasn’t until then when I became vividly aware of my path as she walked me through the many facets of life that I once had been uncertain of. I realized that all I’ve done and am currently doing is for a greater purpose. It is not in vain, but rather preparing me for something far greater than what my mind can fathom. Hence, for those He calls, he also equips.

So, for the remainder of the day I sat and read some of the suggested scriptures (Hope- Jeremiah 29:11, Ephesians 3:19-20, Focus- Matthew 14:22-32, Clarity- Psalms 119:130 and Faith- Matthew 17:20). After doing so, I felt instant relief–I was experiencing peace. And once I prayed and thanked God for Him coming true to His word, I sat with my feet propped up and eyes closed. I faintly heard the tick and tock of the clock and it reminded me of the importance to take time and just be quiet. For it is in those precious moments of life when you are able to really hear from God.

So, for all of you who are reading this now, when was the last time that you were able to hear from God?

Peace & Bountiful Blessings,

Ms. Visionary

We all have a dream…dream on! “They don’t know my name. The day will soon come.”

I think that it is part of human nature to be in love with the thought of love. Thus, our outlook on such is skewed. Therefore, I’ll break it down to a level of basic understanding.

We settle far too much. If you know what it is you want out of a relationship, why settle for the first thing that comes your way? Ok…perhaps it’s the second or third.

I look at it like this, if you have a black dress with the perfect gold accessories and you go into a store with the perfect shoes in mind. They’re black with gold lining. They are fierce honey! So, you point them out to the saleswoman and she returns with the brown ones complimented by silver lining. Fly shoes, yes. However, do you take what is given? Or do you go and get what you came for?

My advice–keep shopping.

Love is not something that comes easy. Anything worth having is worth working hard for, right?

Love is patient. Love is kind.

It is not something that just all of a sudden stops like a heart beat when death has arrived. It should not suck the life out of you, but rather should make it that much more worth living for.

How can anyone say, “I love you…but…” but what?

It should have no reservations.

It is my belief that you can’t love and have inhibitions. To get the love you want, you have to love like you’ve never been hurt before. You have to love yourself in order to know how you want someone to love you or to recognize the love you’re deserving of. Simply put.

So often I’ve heard people make comments like, “When I get the man/woman of my dreams, then I’ll be happy.”

How can your happiness be contingent on something that someone else gives to you?

I have a friend whose mother once told us, “Happiness is not a final destination. But rather a continuous journey.”

Thus, I’m on my journey. Learning what makes me happy. Learning what makes me whole as a human being. For I believe that a healthy relationship cannot be consistent of two partial beings. But rather one that contains two whole individuals. I know who I am. You know who you are. And we therefore make a dynamic duo.

So, ladies…gents, if the shoe don’t fit, don’t force it. Corns and calluses are NOT appealing to the eye. Nor is a pair that; in essence, is like a bouquet of flowers, bunched together for the purpose of appearance. Hence, perception is not always reality.

Love, life and everything in the middle, is only as beautiful of a picture as you paint. Go and get the love that you are deserving of. If ever in question of if it is or it isn’t; think of it like this, “What does love look like?”

Love is like a flower in its bloom.

It’s that fabulous black dress, with the perfect gold accessories and complimented by the pair of fierce black heels and gold lining.

Go and get yours! Do not accept what’s given. Who are you not to be fabulous?

Blessings,

Ms. Visionary

My new endeavor?

OBJECTIVE: Wounded heart seeks refuge.

This is culture?
Couldn’t be

This past year I’ve learned a lot having sat front row in the classroom of “Lessons Learned”. With getting older comes more knowledge and wisdom and they are both essential elements of life. And in knowing that the “man who knows something, knows that they know nothing at all”, there’s always more to learn. Be it is as it may, I’m willing. I’m willing to be open to the idea that everything does not go as planned nor is life based upon my own terms. You see, I say that in a spiritual sense. As I grow stronger in my faith in God I realize that I am a mere vessel. I’ve succumbed to the notion of allowing God to have his way in my life.

At times I’ve become frustrated with both myself and my circumstances, but I now am able to realize that it is all for a greater purpose. I am where I am for a reason, but in due season…I will reap the benefits of my hard work and labor. God knows the desires of my heart and this process is humbling me for my end result. I have an equation that poses as an affirmation: Passion + Purpose = Destiny. Passion is that powerful and compelling feeling or desire for something. Purpose is the reason or cause of our existence. And together they formulate what is predetermined for your life.

This year, I am vowing to let nothing detour me from the path that God has set for my life. Instead of celebrating life for one day or a week even…I’m celebrating every day. For each day that I wake, I’m that much more closer to finding the reason for my existence and thus fulfilling my destiny.

Here’s to a life of passion and fulfillment!

-Ms. Visionary

8.23.09